It’s time to change that attitude. Being positive and letting go of self blame is hard work, but it’s the best long-term investment you can make, and it starts with how you communicate.

You’ve probably heard this statistic: women own 38% of all businesses and earn only 2% of the nation’s venture capital.

Obviously women entrepreneurs are still flourishing despite limited access to startup funding – so what’s going on?

This recent study boils it down to communication. As it turns out, women entrepreneurs with startups to pitch are more likely to fend off questions about how they will prevent future setbacks – and their responses tend to lead to less funding. On the flip-side, investors are more likely to ask men how they will promote their brand. One question is negative and assumes blame, lack of confidence and failure, while the other assumes self worth and growth.

It’s all too easy to self-sabotage and give a negative response to a negative question, but REFRAIN! Try to challenge yourself to think, act and speak positively. You might not be able to choose what questions you’re asked, but you can decide how you respond to them.

So how to respond to questions you really don’t want to answer? Fast Company offers a few ideas. For women in the workplace, Forbes interviewed Andrea Kramer, co-author Breaking Through Bias: Communication Techniques for Women to Succeed at Work. And this WSJ article offers 7 steps to reduce gender bias in hiring.

Remember that living a positive and liberating life is ultimately up to you! It’s in your hands – and in the questions you ask and answers you offer.